India and I went shopping today. A “Mummy Day”. We always visit the playground after we’ve been shopping. It’s something for the kids to look forward too after I’ve been dragging them around to the “boring shops”. India and I made the visit to the playground. It was also nice for me just to sit and not think about packing and getting ready to move.
India doesn’t have Jack to latch on too today as he’s at preschool but she tells me she is going to find another friend to play with. She skips around the playground, talking to herself, talking to other kids who’ll listen, attempting to befriend numerous children. Most kids are happy playing by themselves today. I wonder to myself if Jack were here would he have a little following of children as he yells things like “QUICK! To the CAVE!” “HURRY, there’s a fire in the castle!!” and all the kids bundle into the tunnel after him? India is content to go up and down the slide and I can see her chatting away to herself.
Lately India is finding out that she can do things she hasn’t been able to do before. Reaching things in the playground, reaching the bathroom tap, putting her shoes on by herself. She proudly tells me as she reaches these small milestones “Mum, I’m getting bigger!”. My heart leaps. Part of me wants time to stop and keep her the way she is….the other part of me can’t wait to see her grow up, go to school, become a woman, become a Mummy. What a journey parenthood is.
The Mum’s in the playground are packing up their various bags, calling in their children and taking cranky kids home for a sleep. India is looking at me and gesturing madly from the other side of the playground. I can’t hear what she is saying but I can see that she is able to climb something she couldn’t before….very exciting. I give her a thumbs up and a smile. She beams.
How I am feeling right in this moment reminds me of a time when we went camping last Easter. India was asking me to go for a walk with her. I was trying to get dinner ready before it got dark. I left the dinner and took her for a walk. She wanted to go and see the sun set over the lake. She was prancing, dancing and splashing in puddles all the way down to the lake. She was still only two years old. She let go of my hand and skipped ahead, turning her head back towards me, she laughed. I caught my breathe….she was so beautiful…and in that moment I thought my heart would explode. The sun caught her golden hair and time seemed to stand still. The lake was calm…the sunset was all ours. I caught her up and kissed her face. I will remember that moment forever.
She will grow up so quickly. I will look back and wonder where the time went. Time…It’s what I can give her. Taking the moments to go for walks, cuddles and talks. Maybe she will remember some of them. I hope she does.